Going Lambent on the Locust Horde

So like I haven't been going rampant on The Flood for once, I've been going Lambent on the Locust Horde in Gears of War 2. I thought the orginal GOW was good but this was gripping game play. Hell it even had a story this time! Great bloody action when the heads pop off, sneak attacks, grand vistas and lots of bosses to battle like this guy, Skorge. 

              Scorge is an easier kill than General Raam but is still kinda of Extreme Ninja Cool.

A favourite bit was when one is forced to crash a Tank into black as night hole. When they turn on the light there are two Corpsers waiting to eat you. But the good gear game play means there's a third just to your left and it scares the baby jesus out of you when it attacks. 

                                        Imagine 3 hungry Corpsers thinking of you as lunch

I did the game on the Hardcore level and it took around 12 ish hours of playing I reckon, which is fair value. You can only play on Insane once you have completed one of the easier levels, so I guess I'll be doing that for a while! Haven't tried the multiplayer yet. The Achievements are well thought out. 

The Gears of War 2 campaign was totally excellent and is the new standard in Xbox gaming. Other than Halo 3 eh Chief?

This is Adam Phoenix, Can you hear me? Is there anyone out there? This is Adam Phoenix. What have you done?

Might take on this is the Queen has set Marcus and the COG up and what ensued was her strategy all along....

The Top 10 Worst Rock Costumes in Rock History

The Top 10 Worst Rock Costumes in Rock History

You remember when your Mum made you wear that ugly sweater that your loving but colour blind grandmother knitted you by candlelight? You felt like a dick. You're not the only one who's worn the equivalent, there's plenty of rock stars who actually made the choice. The results are in and they are worse than the sweater - call in the fashion police!

Coming in at number 10 is Tina Turner as Auntie in Mad Max. Shoulders pads were huge in the 80's but this was taking it a step to far. What ever did happen to the children?

Elton John wearing a Duck Suit comes in at 9. The Madman from Across the Water was known to relish the chance to wear any old thing, duck suits a specialty.

Kanye West dodges the Papparazzi on his way to 8. Check out his cool sunglasses before he comes and punches you.

David Bowie is relaxed and only dancing his way to number 7 on the Top Ten Rock Fasion Disasters list. Bowie's manager told him he was going to the beach so he donned these spiffing swimming trunks. Imagine his surprised when he walked out in front of his fans. No one in the audience was surprised however.

Doing his worst for The Beautiful People, Marilyn Manson spits on himself at 6. Nuff said really, other than we heard he borrowed the panties from Dita Von Tisse.

Midway brings us number 5 and Gary Glitter. He's a bad man you know and went to jail. The fashion police sent his costume away too.

She drove all night to get to number 4, Cyndi Lauper comes up with this offspring of the Statue of Liberty and a rainbow...

Number 3 in our list of Top 10 Worst Rock Costumes so things must be getting bad. Maybe Bon Jovi's leather pants and long hair can save us?

Nope! Moving on to 2. Runner up to the worst rock costume in rock history is the entire membership of Lordi. The devil is a loser and he's my bitch.  Um yes, moving on to number one...

Our winner moonwalks their way to number one on  the Worst Rock Costumes in Rock History list. Congratulations, Micheal Jackson

Orignally published on The Spaghetti Incident?

Life is like a block of cheese

The things that amused me today at the supermarket included two hippies buying plastic bags and and two 500g blocks of cheese cost least than a 1 Kg block. 

In other news I paid the phone bill, bought stamps and had a diet coke.

Other than that, all I can say is Gears of War 2 rules, despite the cheesey dialogue.

How the hell should I know? I'm not a botanist!

I stood next to a jockey in the super market today. I don't know if he
was going home to watch Trackside or play Gears of War 2 but I do know
he was having salmon and strawberries for dinner.

I had an omellete my self. Then Jay Bee and I went for a run. Jesus
wept. I have not been for a run since Nixon covered up Watergate. Had
the runs yes. Been for a run? No. Did I mention Jesus wept?

I complained to Marcus but he told me to suck it up rookie and look
for Maria...

Is it me or does Chucky look pale?

Is it me or does Chucky look pale?



This is Chucky with Michelle Rodriguez, she came into his guitar shop needing a djembe which is kind of a drum...

At the time she was filming a part in James Cameron's new movie Avatar.

James Cameron is using Weta's digital filming facilities in Wellington becasue he realised Peter Jackson and the rest of us kiwis know a thing or two about films and wants to make his first movie since that chick flick Titanic better than Terminator 2.

NE ways after Michelle bought her djembe, she flashed Chucky a smile and said "Asta la vista, Charlie" and then she was gone.

Update: Correct instrument included. It was not a tambourine.

Ronnie Wood flushes Drugs before Police Visit

A funny story about Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones. 

Back in the commercial coke blown 1980s, Ronnie Wood and his entourage were sharing some healthy drugs in a concert dressing room when the stage manager poked his head into the room and said: 

“The police are coming!”

Ronnie Wood and his drug buddies chums flushed the drugs down the lavatory as quick as they could.

This was just in the nick of time as  seconds later, Sting, Andy Summer and Stewart Copeland of the Police walked in to say hello.

Inspiration

I doubt Ronnie Wood has much interested in GNR's new album Chinese Democracy, but if he did I reckon he might be interested in the lyrics "Chinese Democracy Lyrics"

Dig Out Your Magnetic

Why were there so many hippies wandering round town yesterday? 

In other news I bought a pair of running shoes, a new laptop and ate strawberry cheese cake. 

The year is nearly over - so before all the hacks get in, here's the top 3 albums for The Optimus Prime Experiment for 2008

1. Death Magnetic, Metallica - a return to old school Metallica that largely hits the mark.

2. Dig Out Your Soul, Oasis - a continuation of the form from Don't Believe the Truth. Liam Gallagher wrote Out of Time which is the best song on here.

3. Accelerate, R.E.M. - Peter Buck turned the guitars up to about 8 and just went to it. Lyrically, Accelerate was a impressive effort from Micheal Stipe.

That's it if you wannt reviews on Copy, Cold Cuts, Cut the Copy, The Preset Video Channels, etc check out The Whore, his music tastes are somewhat .... what's the word....select

Now Chinese Democracy will be released soon and knowing me, that will jump on to the list!

Optimus Prime peered over my shoulder whilst I wrote this and he suggested the Pussy Cat Dolls new release was pretty fly. Let's just say Optimus won't be getting any energon for dessert.

Some questions about mania, rankings and rankmaniacs

Some questions about mania, rankings and rankmaniacs

How long has the longest incorrect fact remained on Wikipedia? Did it really matter?

What about that Halloween Maniac who shot the kid? :(

Would you rank Dig Out Your Soul higher than Don't Believe the Truth?

When does Transformer 2: Revenge of the Fallen come out? Optimus Prime wants to know.

With all the US Election mania, would you get Joe the Plumber to fix your drains?

Are you a rankmaniac?

What do you think of GNR's Chinese Democracy Lyrics? Will you buy or steal download the album?

Drugs Are Bad, Okay?

Random Noel Gallagher Quote on Be Here Now

"I still tell people that the Be Here Now album is the best advertisement against taking cocaine. It goes on too long, it's smothered by its self importance - the same as coke users are."

Buses

Someone on the bus smells like cat food that has been left out in the
sun. Or maybe their colongne just reeks.

Weekend that was Pt Sunny Hawkes Bay

Fri / Drive up to Hastings over Rimatucckasasss. Slow-As-Nanas on the road... 

Sat / Dinner at Vidals (Angus Beef) with Te Whanua

Sun / Pork Roast at 'Rose and Shamrock', Havelock plus Fish and Chips de Kippers. Cheap DVDs Whuddihuddi.

Monday / Jack Russell. Bit of Gardening. Oven Repair. Salad for tea!

N.B. Where the fuck are the Transformer toys? Optimus Prime is very lonely. Reward Offered for safe return.

Don't Feed the Leader!

So like I have a new term for Halo 3.  "Don't Feed the Leader".

Do you ever find in a game of Lone Wolves that you are dueling with the match's leader? You know he's 4 ranks higher than, you showing off his 2000 EXP points  and his spartan armour is pink, just to piss you off. He's better than you and he owns you. 

So why do you inevitably deign to tangle with him the whole game? Do you have a Death Wish that only Bronson Pierce could give you? Do like pink on a Spartan? Let JJ give you some friendly advice, "STOP FEEDING THE LEADER!"

If you see a Pink Needler you run right? So run when you see the hungry pink leader. Like the Tigers at the Zoo, don't feed the leader! Go pick on someone your own size....

Oh well whatever, nevermind

Do u realize u have probably lived longer than kurdt d cobain ?

But where's your heart ?

Does the cocoa cola company own it ?

Are u moving towards a sustainable practice ?

Either way store your heart in a cool place

And watch out for emo kids

Chinese Democracy is out November 23 2008

The 14 year wait for GNR's Chinese Democracy is apparently to be soon over. It's going to drop November 23 in America, two days later.

Two things will happen. It will sell boat loads in the first week as every thirty something old who knows the lyrics to Sweet Child of Mine will buy it and copy it and share it with their friends.

There will probably be a critical back lash too, even if its good. If its a Dookie, those who have bitched for years will be well happy.

Here's the Chinese Democracy Lyrics

Basically it will be like Oasis' Be Here Now album...

Chinese Democracy will probably not break out in China, nor will it's inhabitants get the joke....

Weekend that Was: Wellington Sunshine Rules

So like I new it was going to be a great Wellington Saturday when I shaved with a new Primal Earth shaving gel and the razor blade slid across my cheek like it was on a mission from god.

Jaybee's Big Sister and other half came from Jaffa Land to visit. We started the day with eggs bene at Parade Cafe. They were eggcellent! Ha Ha.

With Wellington turning on a cracker amount of sunshne we headed off to the Maritime Museum. Along the way someone in our party molested this poor fellow out side Te Papa...



At the Maritime Museum we learnt all kinds of interesting things about the old days. There were strikes, smelly dogs, lots of boats and it's hard to believe I know, but back in the day men were sexist!

A quick stop at the New Zealand Fine Arts Academy was made where Jeane interviewed an artist who liked to put Takehe shit in her paintings.

Then it was up the Cable Car to check out the view of Wellington CBS and Harbour from the Botanical Gardens.



Then our entourage headed off for a beer at the Four Kings bar. Had a Steinlager from the tap, it tasted pretty marginal. Maybe the good bar keep got confused and gave me a Steinlager Pure

Down to the business end of the day we went to the Lanes for a bit of indoor bowling. What the fuck this has to do with Vietnam or the Big Leboskwi I really can;t tell you but everyone got at least one strike so good times.

Evening was spent at the Tug Boat restaurant where the meals were large and the service pretty decent.

Sunday was pretty good too - lunch again at Parade Cafe because it was so good on Sat. On the walk around the Parade I found 10 bucks on the shore line. Score! Get to Waitangi Park and I find 20 more! Double Score! Economic Financial Crisis be damned so I bought myself a Lotto Power Ball Ticket and Jay Bee a Phantom of the Opera CD for 10 bucks at some discount store near Manners St.

Evening rounded off with BBQ with Te Neighbours and that couple from Adelaide.

I Can Haz Halo3: Recon?

The Brilliant Boys of the Bungie Brigade have finally announced the title of its new Halo adventure: Halo 3 Recon.

This was announced at the Tokyo Game Show on October 9, 2008 and the reveal included a release date of "Fall, 2009".. so a year away...



X Box Live explains that the Halo 3: Recon campaign "is an intriguing side story that takes place during the terrifying events leading up to the Master Chief’s return to New Mombasa in Halo 3." So basically it’s a prequel! My pick is the the Master Chief will possibly turn up at the end of the game…

The game is played from the point of view of a special forces Orbital Drop Shock Trooper. These guys have turned up in the Halo series from time to time.

ODSTs are known in the Halo universe as the fiercest UNSC soldiers. While not as large or supernaturally gifted as Spartan’s like the Master Chief, these "Hell Jumpers" more than compensate with their ferocious attitudes and unwavering nerve.

This is Bungie’s Halo 3: Recon Site. Note the "whvidldshbyjsdo" Mr Wu suggests it’s an acronym to be solved. I’m picking it’s something to do with the ODST’s name (and not an anagram as I originally thought).

Halo 3: Recon will also have a multiplayer function with maps and forge. There will also be Campaign Scoring, and four-player co-op. So it looks like Bungie is prepared to cannibalise from Halo 3’s own successful matching making platform. It will be an intriguing match up.

Here's Bungie's trailer for Halo 3: Recon



Update: Has anyone solved the "whvidldshbyjsdo" anacronym yet?

I got an idea...

"Who has vested interests destroying little dogs shedding haubusa helmets by jelly sandwhiches dangerously outside?"

This keeps me awake at night

If Billy Bailey really wanted Mama to get out of the kitchen why did he ask her to rattle the pots and pans?

Oasis 'Dig Out Your Soul' Album is Out Now!

The seventh Oasis studio album, Dig Out Yout Soul, features 11 new songs including the hit single 'The Shock Of The Lightning', plus 'Falling Down' & 'I'm Outta Time'. The album can be purchased as a Special Edition CD with bonus DVD featuring exclusive behind the scenes making Dig out Your Soul and 'The Shock Of The Lighting' video. For the 'rare' limited edition box set including nine bonus Oasis tracks, go here. The album is also available digitally on the interwebz from Oasisinet and iTunes and comes with the behind the scene making of Dig Out Your Soul documentary. Click on the link for information on the free Oasis music notiation. Aren't the butterflies cute?

How you like my Halo 3 Killtacular?

So like this post is for Halo 3 nuttters only...

Triple Kills are rare but nice. Overkills are like hen's teeth. Killtaculars are like find gold in them there far hills.

So I was pleasantly surprised when I (Jimmy Janglez) nailed a legitimate Killtacular, two killing frenzys, an overkill, three triple kills, six double kills and an Extermination to put the boot in (killing all 5 players on the opposite team in one go) on this game of One Bomb on The Pit



Here's the killtacular and extermination video for those with the Halo 3 game and and Xbox 360.

Admittedly it was a bunch of complete Halo 3 noobs so I probably shouldn't even begin to brag but I'd had two Chardonnays and just driven from Hastings to Wellington so it wasn't a complete mismatch....hell it was a killtacular baby! Go the Master Chief!

Shame the game wasn't on a Legendary Map so I could have gotten some of those nice new Halo achievement points...

Anyone up for discussing why Halo 3 is better than sex?

HOW COOL AM I?

So like is it me or is The Verve's new single "Love Is Noise" a ripe candidate for a remix by some hardcore remixer dude. Like its almost screaming for a mash up with New Order's Crystal.

HOW COOL AM I REFERENCING THE JOY DIVISION'S REMAINS? HUH?